Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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