If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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