You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
nutella sex= disaster
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
