I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
