You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
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You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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