Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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