It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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