um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
