I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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