Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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