You're so nebulous sometimes
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize