did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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