I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
