she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
