She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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