I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
