sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
