I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
