does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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