they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
