you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dick very happy bro
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
