So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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