as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
