Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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