And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We need to get me chipped asap
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