I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I smell like Dick and happiness
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
