why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
