We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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