My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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