:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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