we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
