When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
