tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
