i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
