my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
