At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
