i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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