I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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