Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize