I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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