i was rollin on her like bob the builder
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
