I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
