someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
