Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
