I puked a lego.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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