we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
