My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
