i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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