i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize