So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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