I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
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Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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