giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
