do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
