My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
