high people should be assigned attendants
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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