Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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