Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
