I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
