you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
